I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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