And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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