it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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