You work out of a Hotel?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
