420 ftw
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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