Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
