I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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