Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
