Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
