He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
In other news, I just burned my penis
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
