I wish I could teleport
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
