If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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