The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
we're making bets on your personal life
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
