Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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