My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize