I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
