do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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