you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
