Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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