thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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