the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Blood and glitter go together right?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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