Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
