So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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