how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
