Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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