just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm too high and old for this...
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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