Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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