I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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