You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
