yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
