its not stalking. its research.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
