Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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