Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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