Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
