Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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