haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize