I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
