dude i'm inner monologue high
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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