I wish I only lived at night.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
