The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
