why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize