everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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