FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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