I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
