I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize