Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
