this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize