Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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