Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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