So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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