You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
The best revenge is premature balding
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize