just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
