I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
