No awkward lesbian experiences without me
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
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