I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
