you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Can I color on your dick again?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
