Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
