Redeem this text for a blowjob
We need to rekindle our bromance
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
A bitchslap is in order.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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