I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
you never un-have a 4some
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
